Relationship Success by Design
This planning process is designed to minimize misunderstandings and misconceptions so to strengthen bonds
and build trust. All of which are needed to sustain a deeply committed, long lasting relationship. It is NOT
meant to be an arena for upsets. It is meant to be an open and honest assessment of the basics as well as what
is real and true for both partners.
1- Discuss Your Relationship Ideals
A-Set limits & boundaries with regard to individual, relationship & sexual interests
2- Set Relationship Goals
A- Define individual goals and visions as a partner in the relationship
3- Plan For Conflict Management/Resolutions
A-Plan and prepare how to handle disagreements and upsets.
B-Address how to manage conflict with children, family & friends
4- Clearly Define Financial Commitments
A-Address financial commitments and responsibilities (individual/joint)
B-Address any future bank accounts, investments and/or property purchases (individual/joint)
5- Set Guidelines For Social Network Influences
A-Set guidelines for appropriate times and the mechanics of the inclusion of friends and family.
B-Set a schedule for individual private time and space
6- Address Special Needs & Specific Commitment Issues
A- Detail important commitment issues which could become potential deal breakers.. Include behaviors
involving contact and relationships with those of the opposite sex.
B- Address special needs or requests that would enhance the relationship
C- Couples who intend to live together while in the pre-commitment stage would do well to discuss the issue of
managing the household. Simple things such as who will do the dishes and take out the trash can cause upsets
that could be avoided with pre-planning.
D- Address any and all medical needs and concerns. Discuss how they might affect the relationship now and in
A- Negotiation is a discussion to summarize and finalize the results of your efforts in steps 1-6.
B- Are your wishes, wants, dreams, goals and expectations based in a reality that is comfortable and
attainable for both partners?
C- Are the differences and problems solvable? Is there a way to deal with the unsolvable problems and
differences or are they deal breakers?
** "A clearly defined design will better insure a successful relationship venture."
1. Be aware of who you are and what you want.
Get to know the person who lives inside you. Take the time to explore and rediscover yourself. Be aware of your requirements,
needs and wants as well as what you have to offer as a partner in a relationship
2. Acquire the knowledge and skills necessary to get what you want.
Gather the information and tools you need to achieve your goals. Prepare your strategies and actions based on
your recent growth and not on old patterns. Repeating the same old patterns will offer you the same old results.
3. Make choices with intent.
Take charge of your future success. Make your life and relationship choices with intent. Actions are more
conducive to success than reactions. Create the life you seek rather than accept that ‘life is what it is’.
Life is what you make it and allow it to become.
4. Maintain a well balanced perspective.
Decisions made from the heart or head alone provide for an unbalanced process and outcome. Love cannot
cure all things or be all things and neither can logic
5.Plan and prepare for a committed relationship
Be sure you are well prepared for your journey. Have your goals set and dating strategies aligned with your
lifestyle and situation. Be open and ready.
6. Design the model.
You will attract the partner you want through your role modeling. Create the design and live it and you will
7. Learn how to be a good partner
Educate yourself on the subject of relationships and practice improving your relationship skills. Reading books or
taking classes and workshops can help expand your knowledge base and deepen your understanding. Date and
explore your new ideas and designs.
8. Mix and Mingle
A healthy network of family and friends helps to balance us and complete our lives. It would be unrealistic and
unjust to expect your partner to provide for those many needs alone. Being a ‘well defined’ partner
means first being a well defined ‘individual’ and emotionally self sufficient. Putting ‘all your eggs in one basket’ is
an unhealthy design.
9. Assertiveness training
Probably the most important skill we acquire in life, is the ability to say ‘No’. Making good choices and
not settling for something you really don’t want is the key to a satisfying and rewarding life and relationship.
If it doesn't feel good.....don’t do it. Success comes from the ability to make well thought out choices not
from settling for less 'just to have something. Settling will leave you unfulfilled and offer an unsuccessful
10. Being single is not a negative
Society tends to lend itself to the idea that being single is somehow a bad thing. Being a content and happy single
offers many positives. It would make little sense to begin a search for your ideal partner until you are sure of what
it is you are looking for. Enjoy your life as a single. Take the time to explore and grow. Your relationship
should enhance who you are rather than be all you are.
Dating & Relationship Coaching
Coaching for Singles
* We offer avenues to explore which will provoke rebirth through self discovery and exploration.
* We provide the skills and knowledge necessary to make effective dating and relationship choices.
* We encourage you to explore comfort zones and personal limits as an individual before agreeing to a commitment
* We give alternatives to help rediscover and redefine what 'happiness' means as an individual as well as a potential partner in a
Relationship Coaching for Couples
* We offer an atmosphere conducive to open and stress free communication. Our goal is to assist our clients in their
desire to have an harmonious, well balanced relationship that meets their needs and requirements and works for them as a couple.
* We help pre-committed couples evaluate their relationship for commitment success
* Address all issues our clients feel are creating difficulties for them and the relationship.
* Explore every avenue possible for the most appropriate approach to resolving conflict and solidifying bonds.
* Offer options to help our clients awaken feelings that have been lost or repressed
* Provide avenues for bringing renewed passion and excitement once cherished when love was new
* We assist our clients in finding a place of mutual understanding and offer alternatives, which will provoke awareness conducive to a
reconnecting of souls.
* We welcome the LGBTQ community as well as those involved in alternative lifestyles, and have trained, experienced staff available.
Click Here for more information and a Sexual Interest Checklist designed to assist partners in negotiating their needs,
wants & desires.
* Please note that the information contained here is for adults only.
Please shield this page from the view of any child under the age of 18.
If you find sexually explicit content offensive, please do not enter.
Thank You For Your Patience
Couples Conflict Resolution & Mediation Services
*Our Mission Statement
Our goal is to assist in resolving conflict while helping to heal and preserve the relationship of the parties involved. Our focus is on
offering an atmosphere conducive to open and stress free communication where all concerns can be expressed and then addressed
to the mutual satisfaction of all the parties.
* We offer the opportunity to discuss the issues raised, clear up misunderstandings, determine the underlying interests and/or concerns
* Encourage creative options
* Find areas of agreement and ultimately, incorporate those areas of agreements into resolutions
* Articulate and solidify potential agreement
* Internet Dating Specialist
* Dating & Relationship Coaching
* Intimacy Coaching
* Premarital Coaching & Workshops
* Empath Support Services
* Parent/Teen Mediation
The Benefits of Coaching
* You will gain clarity and insight into the cause of the problem and define the underlying issues
* You will learn ways to release resistance to changing old patterns and find a path to freedom and success
* You will feel at peace with the knowledge, confidence and strength you gain
* You will be empowered to make good choices that are the right ones for you
* You will feel in control of your life by tapping into your own inner resources
Coaches assist you in:
* Developing new skills and effectively implementing them
* Overcoming barriers that might be impeding your progress
* Setting personal limits & boundaries
* Goal setting
* Designing your own life script
* Managing negative, self-limiting beliefs and influences.
* Formulating strategies and action plans for a rewarding and satisfying future
* The coach will hold your visions in tact and away from your fears and inhibitions while you work to achieve your goals.
|"In love we walk a lighted path"
|Judy Spain Barton
Author * Relationship & Intimacy Coach